In the 1990s I lived in Toronto and was involved in what is now defined as a queer, feminist, punk, riotgrrrl “underground” scene. One of my key contributions to that scene was my zine called PAGANDA!
My zine PAGANDA! expressed a few key points. I was horrified by my culture’s quickening shift toward consumerism. I wanted my readers to know that shopping and greed obfuscate the vital experience of interconnection all earthlings share. I reproduced concepts from Adbusters Magazine like subvertising and Buy Nothing Day to express my anti-capitalist perspective. The title of the zine is derived from the word “propaganda” with the idea that I was making propaganda for the earth. Hello idealism!
Now I understand I was witnessing the incoming tide of neoliberalism and I feel a little bit proud that I resisted before I was sucked under.
To explore the spiritual side of that planetary interconnectedness I felt so keenly, I drew on my motherlands’ culturally modified landscapes in the United Kingdom and showcased the mystical connections between ancient and organic shapes and the universal language of geometry. I even visited Stonehenge, Sillbury Hill and other neolithic sites and made a short film about it.
Interwoven with articles about earth mysteries and anti-capitalism were explorations of gender and sexuality that mirrored my own journey of coming out and finding my place in the queer landscape. It wasn’t about an identity to me back then, it was an expression of being. It was a call to action. It was about changing paradigms and challenging hegemony.
I had subscribers and contributors, many contributed under pseudonyms. I still have the letters I received from subscribers. Writing this I remember how exciting it was to receive a letter with a two dollar bill and a request for a subscription. I felt like we were changing the world!
