She lifted me off of my seat when she sashayed into the bar. How could she not! She did that sassy country swing which made her skirt twirl around her cute green trimmed elfish boots which matched the jazzy fringe on her shirt. Her brunette hair was buzz cut on one side with stylish V-shaped bangs. A gentle but seductive smile, aah, mesmerizing. Sequined, cat eyed glasses with pointed frames with no glass!
There I was, in my mind’s eye, using my soft, sweet lips to croon the tunes with her, as she started to sing. I imagined us dancing together on the stage, batting my eyes at her, while she winked back. I swiveled my hips as we rocked pelvis to pelvis, moving deeper into the movements of the music.
Oh, my gosh! I had a crush on k.d. My feelings for her were so different than what I felt while I was dating a young man just before attending massage school in Sutton, Ontario. It was just a plain, flat affair. No heart or pulse in it at all. Well swivel my hips! That totally changed when I saw k.d. My excitement for her confirmed to me that I was truly gay. I always thought so. But I had kept pushing aside the urges that would arise as reminders.
Well no more. She kindled my fires and I liked it! Being a massage therapy student helped me get much more attuned to my body and was making my awareness more acute.
In addition, I was in my late 20’s and had enough romantic experience with men now, that I realized I was extremely bored sexually and emotionally.
I was sitting with my buddies, Dolores and Jane, at a typical round beer stained pub table in the dark, cavernous, Albert Hall, on Bloor Street, in Toronto, in the cool spring of 1982 when we met k.d. performing. The place was almost deserted. I was visiting with them at their old communal mansion down the street, on the weekend for one of my big city holidays. I was a massage therapy student studying north of Toronto, next to Lake Simcoe, in Sutton. Oh how I would have loved to offer K.D. a massage!
And then there was her incredible singing that encouraged my images of seducing her! Her voice was strong and husky in the lower notes, and clear and sweet as she sang higher. She was a mezzo soprano, reaching between an alto and soprano. Her voice was rich, bold, and she used her slim, muscular body to move the music through her and over to the audience. She was a magician, being able to create emotion, as soon as she started singing. She was with her band the Reclines, which was formed in 1982.
Being with my friends in Toronto, who were erotic dancers, emphasized my interest in women. What this means, is that I noticed how free they were with their bodies, at work and on a daily basis. I watched them dance at the clubs they performed in. I experienced how they turned the process of taking their clothes off into an artistic performance that celebrated their physiques. They were exuberant in their performance and they said they enjoyed it. At home, I noticed how comfortable they seemed to be in their own skins, whether they were stretching, walking about, or laughing. I could feel my attraction for them grow and they let me know the feeling was mutual. I felt so liberated being with them, electrified and alive. We maintained our relationships as friendships only because I still wasn’t quite ready to take that next big step. Time would show that I would need more guidance first. The sexual energy remained however.
Back to k.d. and the pub performance. The Reclines were a Canadian country-swing band who performed with k.d. lang until 1989. The band was originally a tribute to Patsy Cline. The band members played keyboards, drums, guitar, and bass. They accompanied k.d. so well, and were seamless together throughout the years. We listened all night. It was a delight immersing ourselves in their music. The band, k.d. especially, and her music and magnetism were surprise finds for us. We had them almost exclusively to ourselves. Only a few people dropped into the pub from Bloor Street that night.
k.d. and I did not meet until the very end of the show, as I walked towards the door of the Albert Hall in Toronto. The light was low when she whispered a “Hello,” in the smoky, low light of the room. Her eyes were a lovely blue-green. She had this enigmatic, sexy smile, as she looked at me in greeting. I smiled back softly and said, “You’re going to reach the stars, k.d.”
Born on November 2, 1961, Kathryn Dawn Lang, known by her stage name k.d. lang, would eventually receive the Order of Canada (OC, 1996).
