I am not a parent but I am a grandparent.
I never thought I would be called Gramma Bridget until I discovered a hairdresser on Commercial Drive. I discovered to my delight that she is a lesbian (this was the first time that I had met a lesbian who was pregnant).
On one of my visits, she told me that she was leaving the hairdressing salon because she did not want the child she was carrying to be affected by the chemicals that were being used there. She invited my partner, Chris, and me to her home and said that if we wished, she would continue to be our hairdresser. A few months later, she invited us to a baby shower, where, to our surprise, she announced that we would be the Grammas.
On December 18, I came home from work and listened to our phone messages. One said, “Colleen was born at twelve minutes after six this morning.”
I said to Chris, “I think we should go and see this child, since we are the Grammas.” We saw this tiny child, held her, and fell in love with her.
We brought her the classic Pooh Bear, the first of many gifts. We were regular visitors at Colleen’s home. We accompanied Colleen to Santa Claus Parades, to St. Patrick’s Day Parades, and went to her school concerts. In her first preschool concert, she was A Little Duck in New York City. She got a standing ovation for that and was happy with her performance. Needless to say, her Grammas were very proud of her, as were her mothers.
When our hairdresser and her partner moved to Bowen Island, we were frequent visitors to our granddaughter’s new home. When Colleen was able to talk, she would see us and call out, “Here come the Grammas.” When her moms went out together, we babysat and watched every stage of her development. We played with her, and one day we got really excited when she smiled at us, and then even more so when she called us Gramma.
It was a new learning experience to have a child in our lives, and we had a lot to learn. I needed lessons on how to hold her, give bottles, and change diapers. After several trials and errors, I became an expert—especially in how to change diapers. In the beginning, I was puzzled about putting on diapers the right way. However, I did learn ever so slowly.
As every Christmas approached, Chris and I tried to figure out how to buy a present for her. In the end, we went to Toys R Us and followed women around the store who were accompanied by children the same age as Colleen. We watched to see what toys they played with or begged their mothers to buy. Then we would buy that toy.
Colleen opened up our eyes to a whole new experience of nature. She liked to walk around the garden, even in the rain, dressed in a yellow raincoat with Wellingtons to match. She would walk in front of us and every so often, she would bend over, look down, and say, “Hi slug.”
On her last birthday, Colleen called us and said, “I am now officially nine years old.”
What a joy to have such a child in our lives and to be called Grammas!
As I wrote earlier, a child in our lives is a new experience. Now Colleen comes to visit us. She looks around and sees her photos in every room in our house. She looks at us and says, “I know you love me.”
We are adopted.
This story first appeared in Basically Queer: An Intergenerational Introduction to LGBTQA2S+ Lives, p 95
